Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Sympathy

My Mom is my pillar of strength. She's my everything. I always pray to the Almighty to always give the best life to my Mom.

It's not easy to tell my Mom about me being laid off. I was afraid I would cry in front of her. I was afraid I would be a BIG disappoinment to the family. I am AFRAID.

Just now in the morning before she wanted to perform Subuh prayer, I told her about my termination. She was shocked but I admire her for being the most understanding Mom. She never reprimanded me instead she encouraged me to move on.

I am always grateful because people around me are always being kind to me. I have a loyal bestfriend, understanding mother. What can I ask more?

Kindness

Yesterday, I leave my company in a sombre mood. I was sobbing hard in the bus beside Kak Ita. She was being kind to me. Consoling me and telling that everything happened has already written. It is my fate and I have to accept it. I should not dwell in the past and move on.

Before I went home, I met Maira. I am just too relieved that Allah has given me the most kindest, caring, loving friend that I could ask for. She never leave by my side, giving me words of encouragement and even buying me a meal knowing that I've not eaten for the whole day.

I am just too grateful that I have people who care for me when I was in the most depressing state.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Being terminated

Today, at 10 in the morning, I had a meeting with my manager and one of my senior. I never knew that the meeting was a life changing experience. I have been terminated by my company. Of course they were being shady and not being honest. They told me the company is having massive loss, they decided to trim down the number of employees and out of all my team mates they have decided to terminate my contract. *LOL as if I would believe in them. Multi biliion company won't get bankrupt easily.*

My manager's advice: I have to be aggressive and confident. Must know basic IT thingy. Erm ok.. You were giving me 2 weeks notice and telling me off by saying the area that I'm lacking in. Come I clap for you.

It's okay. They could say whatever they want to say. I never want to think about it. Now my focus and goal is to get a job within this 2 weeks.

I know Allah is with me. He's my Guardian. No matter how much I betrayed HIM, he will always be there for me. Countless of time.. At this point of time, I realised how proud I am to be born Muslim.

Mama, sorry for being a disappointment. I promise you I would find a job within this 2 weeks. Nothing is impossible InsyaAllah.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Melted

Yesterday night (10 September 2014), I watched Disney's film together with my Lil Bro.
*Singtel MIO customers who subscribed the FOX film could get to watch the film free-of-charge in HD*

I love, love, love the film. I think it is one of the best Disney's film. Now I know the reason why lil girls are obsessed with Frozen Elsa. She's beautiful, protective, thoughtful role model Queen. Add up to that, she is SEXY (Maybe I'm the only one who think she's sexy) and has magic power! She's a barely perfect sister. Sorry to say, but I think she's a bit selfish over-protective and timid. I'm fine that Elsa has displayed some flaws. This makes Frozen much more interesting and it is not a “typical” Disney princess film.

Since the night Elsa’s magic nearly killed her lil sis, Anna, Elsa lived in fear for a great amount of her life. She's worried that she would harm people around her with her magic. She shut herself away from the world. She remained hidden in her room, even during her parent's funeral. *I could not comprehend this part. Your parents are dead and how could you not attend their funeral?*

Her lil sis, Princess Anna is the cutest, outgoing princess. I never like naive girls and always find them to be annoying. Anna, she is naive but her character is likable and surprisingly, I love her. She is bubbly and cheeky. Princess Anna is my favourite character in the film. My Lil Bro thinks Princess Anna is more prettier than Queen Elsa. Sorry Elsa, we love you but we love your lil Sis more.

The amount of things I could relate to with Anna was awesome! I cannot stop laughing when I watched Anna waking up scene. I felt like I'm watching myself. The only thing missing was a huge puddle of drool. Anna is a legit representation of what people look like when they wake up.  It irks me alot to see Disney's princess wake up perfectly with their hair all nicely braided *Cindrella, Sleeping Beauty, I'm watching you!*

Anna is a socially-awkward and clumsy girl just like me! I am quite thrilled and excited because Anna breaks the stereotype that princesses have to be all graceful; and that makes Anna awesome and special.

Overall, I love love love this film. The film never bores me and I love every of the soundtracks. It is catchy and still has the unique Disney's sound in it. To make it more special, I watched the film with my lil bro. I never knew Frozen was about siblings love.

I am a big fan of siblings bonding and family oriented films. Hence, Frozen is one of my favourite film and maybe my first favourite Disney's film. I am torn to choose between Frozen or The Lion King.

I admire the relationship of Queen Elsa and Princess Anna. After Anna's accident, they may not be bonded together but they care and never stop loving one another. Their relationship is strong and their love is genuine. My brother almost cried when Elsa was sobbing hard while holding Anna's frozen body. It was his 2nd time watching the film and yet he told me he almost had tears in his eyes. He's too emotional just like me.

This film is a lesson learnt to me that blood run thicker than water. No matter how much you wanted to cut tie with your family, you will eventually bond to them. Running away from problems is NOT a good solution. Don't be afraid just because you are born different. Remember, Elsa is stronger when she embraces her differences.

Always be confident. I noticed that "self- blame" is one of the most painful emotional abuse one can ever inflict on themselves. Just look at Elsa. After the bad incident, she shut herself away from the world, not attending her parents funeral and had pushed her sister out of her life because she had hurt Anna and always had this belief that she was to blame. She lived in that constant pain and was afraid of history repeating itself. Therefore, never dwell in the past, learn from your mistake, don't be afraid, be confident and move forward! Instead putting the blame on yourself, take full responsibility in it.

Monday, September 8, 2014

15 Facts about Me

15 facts about me:

I am the eldest amongst three siblings.

I have a spoilt lil brother Shahrouk Bayani (HE IS THE ONLY SON) and a mature-looking lil sis Nuranisah (before I don the Hijab, people thought she’s the eldest)

I have a set of parents who are carefree and thankfully not “kiasu”. They don’t really pressurise me and my siblings like the other Asian parents. As long we don’t get ourselves in trouble, they’re happy.

I am a socially awkward person but I can get along with few people.


My first encounter with unnatural: I was 4 or 5 years old when this incident took. My clown doll was WAKING ME UP AND SMILING AT ME in the middle of the night. That clown doll is not battery operated hence I don’t know why it could move by itself. So this was the first time I encountered supernatural and paranormal things. P.s. The pic above is the clown doll!

My favourite author is Sophie Kinsella. I enjoy reading most of her books especially “Can You Keep a Secret?” I want to collect ALL her books *birthday’s gift hint*

I love watching family oriented, siblings bonding, romantic films like The Proposal, Hum Saath Saath Hain, Frozen, Kabhie, Khushi Kabhi Gham, The Blind Side.

I decided to put on Hijab because I wanted to show my gratitude to The Almighty. God has given me almost everything that I need.


My late GrandDad (Paternal side) gave me a nick name “Tigress”. I scratched his chest till it leaved a permanent mark on his chest. When I was a baby girl, I had tantrums. One of my distant relative told me that I always pull people’s hair, slap peoples’ face whenever I was mad or upset. 0___O

I have a permanent bump on my forehead near the temple on the left. I got it when I was 6 years old; I fell from a long-legged stool at my cousins’ house.

I have Myopia ever since Kindergarten. Yes, I have to wear a pair of glasses at the age of FIVE!

I have difficulties in learning. My Mom consulted me to a doctor and he told my Mom that I was a dyslexic. Mom and teachers provide me with various forms of assistance and supervision. I owe my Mom big!
Honestly, I am afraid of being a spinster. I want to get married and have 2 children.

I’m afraid of losing someone closed especially my FAMILY and CATS.

I wanna be a strong girl, spiritually, physically and mentally.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Dull life

Can't you believe it how dull my weekdays life is? Goodness, I am a dull girl.

Just look at my timeline. Gosh, I need to do soul searching soon!

6am: wake up
6.30am: pray
7am: breakfast
7.10am: Bye bye
7.55am: board company bus
8:15am: in the office
9:15am: check flight status
10am: send invoices
11am: send flight update
11.15am: check portdate for EMR
11:30am: update EMR
11:40am: check emails
12pm: break
1.15pm: pray
3pm: run macro
4pm: update file
4:05pm: send EMR
4.10pm: update flight status
5pm: pray
5:15pm: check emails
5:30pm: byebye
6.45pm: home sweet home
7:20pm: pray
7:30pm: dinner
8:00pm: kpop, kdrama, facebook, cats
9:00pm: pray
9:30pm: sleep