Evil Whispers

You do not know what is like to be like me..

I heard voices.. i heard whispers.. I had a suicidal thought..

it hurts my soul.. it hurts my body... my mind is not at ease.. i am scared of myself.


Sometimes.. I was wondering how could this happen to me? I tried my best to be a practising Muslim.. Please don't hurt me.. Please...


I need help.. I need help...

Note to myself

If one day, my brain is reset or reboot and filters out the important things...
If I can't mentally remember who am I..
This note is a piece of me...

I want myself to know that I am a Muslim.
Allah is The Almighty God.
We have to worship Allah.
We must not associate anyone with Allah SubhanahuwaTaaAla as His part. We can't believe in more than One God.
We must not associate Allah's attributes with someone or anyone else. 

Prophet Muhammad Peace be Upon Him is Allah's Messenger.

Qur'an is a Kitab that guide me and the believers to the right path.

Baitullah is the direction for me and the Muslims to perform prayers.

Perform obligatory prayers 5 times a day.

I must not be riak, arrogance, self-delusion and show off.

As a Muslim, I have to remember that Jannahtul Firdaus, a paradise, is the permanent abode. 

Therefore, in this life always remember Allah and always be kind to Mama (Asmah Bee), Shahrouk Bayani (little Brother) and Nuranisah (little Sister). Papa, he passed on. 2015. 

Build another well for Papa (Mohamed Asni).

Always treat people well.

Control my temper.

Istighfar. Selawat.

REPENT.

My name is Norsiah Binte Mohamed Asni. Binte is Daughter Of.

Remember Me....

Battle

I am scared...

I dreamt about my Late Dad...

I am too afraid something bad would happen to me...

Allah... Please save me... My was-was feelings are getting worst..

I am too scared..

Nobody understands me..

Even if they care for me, they don't understand me..

I am too tired...

Exhausted...

But i never wanna give up or give in to Syaitan.

I am a fighter not a loser.

I am a soldier. I will march on like a soldier.

Hijab

Perasaan berbelah bagi sama ada mahu memakai tudung atau tidak.

Rasa malu dan takut jika memakai hijab akan mengundang perasaan yang tidak akan dijangka.

Takut akan diskriminasi.

Takut dibenci.

Tapi semakin hari semakin berani

Berani melawan perasaan negatif,

Akhirnya, hijab pilihan ku.

Perasaan bahagia

gembira

puas....

Hijab membuat ku gembira

Kerana akhirnya orang akan tahu

Yang saya manusia yang percaya kepada Tuhan...

"I want to use the hijab. Not only is it beautiful, it’s also an icebreaker. Wearing the hijab makes it easier to get in touch with people. It shows that I belong to a religion which believes in a god, and then people assume that is a topic that interests me. If they also believe in a god, we automatically have something in common." - Iman Meskini